Pants on Fire short play for two actors

PANTS ON FIRE 
A short play
By D. M. Larson


(There are two main actors, a student named TONY and a professor named CLUMP. More students in the scene would add to the atmosphere)


CLUMP
Welcome to the our advanced leadership course. Armed with carefully crafted lies you can become the ultimate politician, a master lawyer or the salesman of the year. You all enter now with the rank of little white liar but under my tutelage I will guide you to be a master liar with your Pants on Fire. To achieve the rank of Pants on Fire you must dedicate yourself to this course above all other courses. You must commit yourself to being to the best deceiver of anyone you know. You need to be willing to indulge in lies even when it is totally unnecessary. Lying is an art. And being a true liar is a way of life.


(TONY looks confused and gets up to leave the class)


My experience in fabrication comes from practicing law as both an attorney and judge. I have also consulted on numerous political campaigns...


(CLUMP notices TONY leaving)


CLUMP
Is there a problem?


TONY
I think I am in the wrong class. I signed up for Ethics.

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